Friday, May 15, 2020

Use Your Words: Speaking For The People

On March 10, I had surgery. 
I was released from the hospital on March 12.
Around March 13 or so, the United States started shutting down due to COVID-19.
Jobs have been lost. Companies are closing. There are over 30 million people out of work. 
But rent didn't stop.
Neither did bills.
Neither did the food cost. If anything, for a lot of people, that went up.

I can't speak for the rest of the US, but in Florida, the unemployment website has been busted. It's hard to apply, they are severely backlogged. 

At the end of March, The Orange One passed the CARES Act and would promise us at least $1,200 per adult...with contingencies. Some people got theirs, some are still waiting. There is a place on the IRS website where a person could look it up to see when you were getting it. But it is being said that if a person tracks it (or attempts to), the site crashes or has issues.

There are people who have already used their stimulus money and paid their bills. Yet here we are, halfway through May and, while states are slowly starting to open up, people are still out of work and bills still aren't getting paid and it doesn't seem like there is any hurry to help those people.

Recently, House Democrats submitted a proposal for something called the HEROES Act, which would cost around $3 trillion dollars but it would provide more money to the American people. Republicans and The Orange One have said this bill would be "dead on arrival".

That's annoying.

My solution?

Stop submitting all these proposals and bills that are cluttered with additional items that are your hill to die upon. Give them a good cleaning and only include what is absolutely necessary. Save the rest for a time when American's aren't drowning. 

OR, better yet, take The Orange One's CARES Act and simply propose EXTENDING those payments.

In my opinion, whether people agree or not, we NEED more stimulus payments. As I said above, there are over 30 million people out of work, companies are closing left and right, putting even MORE folks out of work. Even if we fully opened states tomorrow, there simply aren't enough jobs to go around. We need something to help us in between that time. I propose they issue monthly payments of about $3,000 for about 6 months to a year. This will give people a chance to get caught up on their bills, maybe pay some ahead, start a little nest egg and stimulate our economy. But SOMETHING needs to do be done, otherwise we are going to drown and increase the homeless population. 

It's hard to say Namaste and find a calm in all of this. I'M SCARED. Especially as they don't seem to be in any hurry to get help to people that need it.

Today’s post is a writing challenge. This is how it works: participating bloggers picked 4 – 6 words or short phrases for someone else to craft into a post. All words must be used at least once and all the posts will be unique as each writer has received their own set of words. That’s the challenge, here’s a fun twist; no one who’s participating knows who got their words and in what direction the writer will take them. Until now.
 
My words were " tracks ~ cleaning ~ promise ~ cluttered ~ annoying ~ Namaste" and it was submitted by the fabulous Tamara from Part-time Working Hockey Mom.
 
See what my friends have for you below!
 

Tuesday, May 12, 2020

Pregnancy and Loss

I want to start this post by issuing a trigger/content warning regarding miscarriage. I also want to say that I KNOW I should be grateful that I was able to conceive 3 beautiful and awesome kids.

I am.

But there was heartache.

I got pregnant for the first time in August of 2001. I didn't find out I was pregnant until October 19. I was ecstatic and scared. I started looking at clothes and trying to picture what my baby would look like.
On November 11, I started cramping and bleeding. It was determined I was having a miscarriage.
On November 12, I passed the fetus at home, in my toilet.

I was devastated. 

On January 13, 2002, I found out I was pregnant again. This time, there was no ecstatic feeling...only fear. It was kept a secret and would be until I made it to the second trimester.
That never happened. I miscarried again on February 10.

My marriage fell apart and I moved to Florida to live with my mom.

I found out the day after my 21st birthday party that I was pregnant. This was around mid-December, 2003. I told only a few people, but was scared. I went to the doctor, took a test there but it was negative. Tried again a few weeks later and it was positive. 
I found out on January 6 that I was having twins and both of their hearts were beating.
There was no joy...at least not from anyone but me. Some people wanted me to abort. Some suggested I give them up for adoption. When I didn't, some said to my mom that she would be the one raising them. 

They were wrong.
On July 24, 2004, I gave birth to a boy and a girl, 6.5 weeks early. They've been by my side ever since.

Fast forward to 2008. I met an amazing man and we got married. I found out I was pregnant on October 3, 2008. Having had a successful pregnancy once, I foolishly thought I would be fine. I lost that baby on October 10. 

January 3, 2009, I found out I was pregnant and we were cautiously optimistic.
Scratch that...we were terrified. While there was some excitement from my husband's family (he is the baby and last one to have a kid), not so much from my side.
On August 25, 2009, I gave birth to my third and final child. The pregnancy was hard and I didn't want to risk another loss, so I got my tubes tied.

The point in the back story is that I get a little...salty (isn't that what the kids are saying these days?) when I see stories about how happy people are they are pregnant. There are tears of happiness, excitement, joy. I didn't get to experience any of that and I kinda feel robbed. Even now, 11 years after my last positive pregnancy test, I feel a sadness in my heart that I didn't get the kind of happy a lot of people do.

Like I said, I know I should be happy I was able to have kids at all. There are so many people out there that feel like I do, only toward someone like me. They will NEVER feel that, but I got to. I get it and my heart breaks for them. But I don't think I am wrong for feeling like I do. 

Has anyone else felt this?